The Write Event

The Spirit of Intent

Have you ever been in a situation when you felt manipulated by a series of clever questions? Maybe when you were a prospective buyer. I have been there. I have also been in retail sales and never liked the kind of sales training that taught manipulative closes. Good word for it. It does feel like someone is closing in on you and I think it an uncomfortable place to be. At those times, I have often asked myself, "What's wrong with this picture? I really am interested in this product I am looking at but I am also pulling back. I feel like getting out of here."

It seems to me to come down to the question of the spirit of intent. We always have one and when it slips into being self-serving, as may be the case in a selling situation, it registers badly.

I had this happen at an upscale store not long ago. I was shopping in the cosmetics department, which is one of my favorite stops, (having spent many years in that industry, giving me some stories to share later about self-image.) It is fun to nose around and see what's new. I approached a counter and heard from behind me, "Can I help you?" (That tired question again. I didn't pick up one twit of genuine interest.) The saleswoman had a brush in her hand and was applying blusher on a woman's face. I noticed she had a notepad where she wrote what products she was using as she worked. It looked like a whopper of an order was in the making. "Do you have a question?" she persisted. (I have no idea how she would have juggled two customers at once but I think she had that in mind at that point.) I said that I was looking for a lipstick color to match something. I got the feeling that she did some quick math to compare the sales profit from each of us women and I came out the loser.

I said that I could wait for help, but by then she paid no more attention and I was left to look. Five minutes later another salesperson was then free and began to help me. In the end I found my color and then pulled out my list of 5 other items of that line that I knew I would buy. She headed for the register. There she met the first sales person whose prospect had just jumped down from her stool sporting her new look and had scurried away sans purchase. She tried to say quietly to the second salesperson, "She is my customer who was waiting for me." Not quite quiet enough. The second one would have deferred had I not said, "Please do go ahead—I appreciated your excellent help and I am really your customer."

I suppose there are times when we all have a reason to work things in our favor. But a spirit of intent that rings true makes it easier to speak honestly without a hidden agenda. Those kinds of agendas don't stay hidden for long anyway. Others read the real story and if it doesn't feel right it seeds mistrust. No one reads the truth better than kids, even when they are very young. It amazes me to see them do it. It is a good thing that we can monitor our spirit of intent and correct it as we go. It sure keeps relationships honest, starting with the one we have with ourselves.

Quotes from Some Wise People

Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.
~ Earl Nightingale

Success and failure. We think of them as opposites, but they're really not. They're companions - the hero and the sidekick.
~ Laurence Shames

With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable.
~ Thomas Foxwell Buxton

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.
~ Booker T. Washington

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't.
~ Henry Ward Beecher

Personality Testing on the Website Listed

www.similarminds.com offers some free tests to give you some personal insight.

Handwriting Analysis Tele-classes Beginning Soon

Do you have people in your life you might like to understand better? Silly question—we all do! Trouble is we can't read minds and I am glad of that. But, having the resource of handwriting analysis gives you a way to know much more about people in a much shorter time than relying on just observation or communication through usual means. Besides, your own subjective bias can easily cloud the impression you form of someone. Here's where handwriting analysis is so helpful.

You can analyze any handwriting you have from someone without having to wait for the person to provide an official sample. Anything written—cards, memos, notes, letters, etc. works.

So how would you like to learn how to analyze handwriting by way of a human teacher who talks to you? That would be me!

Would you like to participate in a series of classes to learn the basics? The best part is that you can do it by way of the telephone from your home or office. How does it work? Simple. I mail you printed material to be used as your lesson text. Then, at the class time you and I call into a common "bridge line" which can accommodate quite a large number of people, wherever they may be. Think of it as a huge conference call. Then we will spend a happy time each week progressively learning how to analyze handwriting.

If you want more self-knowledge it will add to it.  If you are concerned about some of your relationships you will be able to get more clarity, and, for sure, if you interview and hire personnel you will get insights about positives and "red flags" beyond anything they or their resumes may tell you. (Modest people may not tell you enough; immodest people may exaggerate reality.?)

First though, I will offer a free introductory class by registration only. I will allow 40 people on the call. It is only reasonable you would want to try out my teaching style to see if it is a fit for you. I love to do these classes so I try to make them logical, informative, and fun. But, you need to judge that for yourself.

If you live in the US or Canada and you want to be on the free call please email me of your intention, first come, first served. You will find the "email me" option on the left sidebar of the blog. I will reply to you after Sept. 15th with the bridge line number and pin number you will need to get in.

The free call will be September 25th at 5:00 PM Pacific Daylight Time. (You must adjust your time to match mine.) The call will last one hour, for sure, which will cover the main things I want to teach you, but it could go longer if some people want to stay on for a while.

The free call only costs you the long-distance fee. If you don't have an inexpensive long distance calling plan, then shop for a reasonable calling card (from Costco, for example. Less than 3 cents per minute.)

Caution: the call must be from a land line only since cell phones do not work out well on bridge lines. They can cause interference.  Please respect this request.

As for the fee-based program: It covers 6 weeks. It will begin on Tuesday, October 16th and run for 6 consecutive weeks on Tuesdays from 5:00-6:45 PM, Pacific Daylight Time. There will be limited enrollment for the series. I will explain the details during the free call, including what the class covers.

The fee for materials and the series is $140.00 in US dollars. For anyone who already knows they want to be part of the series, (even if you cannot make the free call) please let me know by email as soon as possible after reading this. I will reply with my mailing address. For all participants: once your check clears I will send out your printed material.

I hope you will join me. You can learn a great deal very quickly if you understand the basic principles of handwriting analysis. And then you are on your way to assessing people through the code of this new "language'—and you will know why handwriting is really "brainwriting."

Elaine Ness, CGA

Madam Curie's Perspective on Strengths

"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have
perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must
believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing
must be attained."

Marie Curie

Do you agree with that? I do. But, after interviewing hundreds of people I am convinced that very few specifically know what their innate talents are.

Testing can help us determine what our gifts are.

Coming up on the next post are some resources to try out. It includes some of the best tests that are also free. Print out the results from each you choose to take and see if you agree and then also ask someone who is fair and knows you well to offer feedback.

Ecuador—a Very Different Place

I am enjoying my time here in this country. Right now I am working on this post in a small Internet cafe. Well, there is no cafe´ to enjoy so that is a misnomer. I am spoiled rotten by having a high speed connection at home as I compare it to typing on this machine that moves like molasses. but the traffic pace outside more than makes up for things in the speed department. The drivers are involved in a constant free for all with each other and the street situation is complicated by the hundreds of small motorcycles and scooters vying for space. It costs 1.00 for all rides in the tiny yellow taxis. Pedestrians able through it all and gentle horn toots keep everybody alert. Somehow it all works.

So while creature comforts have less priority here the sweetness of the friendly people wins my heart again on this, my third visit to Ecuador.

I haven´t been exposed to a lot of handwriting here so I haven´t a lot of observations to share with you. And it is not a subject I can converse in Spanish about either since I don´t know that category of vocabulary.

I am impressed with the polite greetings offered even by passersby on the street. Children are taught to do it too. It is a far cry from the U.S. custom of ignoring such nicities even by most adults. I would faint if a kid politely greeted me in public.

It is Sunday and so there are a lot of families out and about or they are sitting outside their houses and chatting. While many years ago Sunday was a big religious day the same does not appear to be true now. The church exerts far less influence than it once did, so the natives tell me.

I have one more week here so we are going exploring before I leave for home. See you back there soon.

The Law of Attraction—You Get What You Expect

This won't be a long dissertation about the Law of Attraction. There are sources galore to read up on it and of course, "The Secret" explains it fully.

Basically, you get back what you expect to get. But, first you have a create a clear vision of what you are seeking. Then, visualizing it with your senses excites your emotions and opens things up for you to be able to attract what you want.

While I have not read much about the role of the Reticular Activating System in attracting things it figures in, of course. The brain wakes up to the possibilities you are seeking as you become aware of what is out there. The term "Universe" is often referred to the source of the good things that become yours. It seems to me to connote space, which opens up a whole new perspective.

The energy you send out comes back in kind. Negative people get back negative stuff; positive people get back the same, even when they face adversities.

I don't believe it is all within our control to attract all good stuff. There are wicked forces in existence that would prohibit that if one takes the scriptures seriously, which I do.

But, we can control our thoughts and dwell on positive and concrete things that are grounded in truth and reliability. Then we can open ourselves up to expansive thinking.

In handwriting, look for openness and balanced loops all areas of the writing. Scrunched, tight, and fully retraced strokes (like closed small e letters) show evidence of restriction of emotions, thinking and reactions, which would make expecting big and new things very hard to do.

The Reticular Activating System—Your Brain's Unique Screening Device

We are literally bombarded with sensory images, sounds and goings on all day long. Just imagine what your life would be like if you were aware of every single one of them—it would be mental bedlam! The hair down your neck after a haircut, the clicking sound of your keyboard, the hum of the fan, the voices that surround you. You are saved from that sort of nerve-racking experience by a wonderful design feature of your brain called the Reticular Activating System.

The RAS consists of a bundle of densely packed nerve cells located in the central core of the brainstem. Roughly the size of a little finger, the RAS runs from the top of the spinal cord into the middle of the brain. This area of tightly packed nerve fibers and cells contain nearly 70% of your brain's estimated 200 billion nerve cells or a total of 140 billion cells.

The RAS acts as the executive secretary for your conscious mind. It is the chief gatekeeper to screen or filter the type of information that will be allowed to get through. Everything else is filtered out. You simply don't pay attention to those other 'messages.' Like the restaurant noises at high noon when you are engrossed in a meaningful conversation—you screen them out.

Only two categories of information are allowed in:

1. Information that is valuable for you to have right now. For example: say that you live in New York but you will be traveling to Kansas City to conduct a seminar. You check the weather there for several days before you leave so you will know what clothes to pack. Ordinarily, you never pay attention to the weather in that city. But now you have a special need to know because it affects you. After your visit, will you continue to monitor winter storms there? Yes, if you form some bonds with people you care about. Perhaps not if you have no further ties there.

Maybe your husband is a car buff so he always notices all the cars on the road. You couldn't care less until it is time to shop for a new one. Once you decide on what you want you may stop paying attention, unless you notice the same model of the one you now drive.

If you are at a party and conversing with an interesting person in a crowded room you are fully engrossed and unaware of any specific sounds, even the din of voices. But let someone across the room say your name and you most likely will hear it instantly. 'Why are they talking about me?' you wonder.

2. The other kind of information that is allowed in is the sort that alerts you to a threat or danger.

You don't pay much attention to ads for refrigerators until your 15-year-old model begins making strange noises..Suddenly, your food investment is threatened. Replacemnt is the only option. That's when you see the full-page spread of refrigerators ads. They are everywhere. Really, those ads have been there all along. You just didn't pay attention. Now your RAS alerts you to key you in on what is available because you need to know.

If your children are riding bikes on your busy street and you hear a sharp horn blast you race to the window to check on them fearing danger. But, If they were still inside you might not even hear the sound.

In view of this, it is easy to see why it is that people so often say, "I'm not interested." They have no need to know  information at that time. Sales people know this very well so the diligent ones seldom throw away a name. They follow up.

Circumstances may change, sparking fresh interest all of a sudden.What a good reason to watch how this censoring device works in people! If you want others to tune in to what you want to get across to them (think kids, spouses, bosses) answer their question: "What's in it for me?"  especially if you are making a request.

If you think this is being manipulative there is something else we need to talk about. It will be coming sometime later so stay tuned.

Conceit—The Trait of Healthy Pride Gone Wild

How about the people who show conceit? Is their self-image intact? In all the years of doing personnel work and coaching in customer service that type of personality has been the most interesting to study. So many people have trouble taking instruction and instead resist being told anything. A neighboring trait is defiance of authority, which is getting more common to find. It may be covert resistance too.

This type of behavior stems from one of two origins: first, the kind of person who received inordinate and perhaps undeserved praise and came to believe his or her own press. This is the mentally puffed up person. When I see this is a sample, if I have opportunity, I ask the writer questions about his upbringing.

The more common reason for conceit is shown by the person who did not receive healthy recognition in early years and on into adulthood. The fact is without approval coming from others, which is a healthy way to get it and feel good, the person craving recognition but doesn't get it, figures out a way to give it to himself. It can provide some real motivation.

The question is: does it work as a spur to help him produce in his life? Or is just hot air?

In industry, such people take credit but don't give it. In their minds it was their effort, not a team effort, that created a successful outcome. They consider the "little people" as a way to get the job done for them. Then those people cease to exist until the next time they need them. And if things get fouled up, guess who gets the blame? You probably can think of a few people like that who have been around you.

Their feeling of self-importance comes out through their pores. They don't have to verbally express it; their demeanor shouts it. That attitude emotionally alienates people who have to deal with them. They are left to live alone in their own ivory towers, patting themselves on the back as they board their mental elevator. But, it seems like they never figure out why that happens to them.

Again, there are ways to evaluate the trait of vanity in writing. But, the easiest way to see it is to take note of the upper extensions of the small letters d and t. As a rule of thumb, when those ascenders are 3 times as tall as the middle zone you are seeing vanity. Huge capitals, especially when they are elaborate as well reveal inordinate self-admiration.

Does it mean vain people are always dominantly displaying how smart they think they are? No, it does not. Behavior may mask the bloated self-concept. But it doesn't take long for others to pick up it from other clues. It is hard to be humble when one feels so great and if humility is fake it bursts like a pin in a balloon.

Too Much Concern about Self-image?

The question was posed to me, "Isn't all this concern with self-image very egocentric? That is, a way of becoming or being totally self-absorbed? We have to think past ourselves and do things for others," so said the person. I certainly agreed with that last thought.

Perhaps, we should also be talking about self-esteem or our feelings of worthiness or call it our "loveability quotient." The thing that came to my mind immediately was the Golden Rule, which originated in the Bible, and there, was not termed a "rule" at all. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," as one translation renders the words from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount.

I hardly think anyone would quibble with the principle of being well-treated no matter what they believe. So why don't many people treat others well? If you have been fortunate in receiving positive treatment in your life, then extending the same to others is a natural thing for you to do. But what if you have not been well-treated and you are left with feelings of inadequate self-worth? How then are you likely to treat others in kind? Can anyone consistently do what they do not know how to do?

Isn't a balanced view of self healthy? In that state one neither thinks too much or too little of oneself. I think of that as being "UN-self-aware." That is, it is the ability to get past the self on a consistent basis. Being "consistent" is the true test. We usually can manage concern for others for a short time. But we then revert to type and our relationships reflect what we feel inside about ourselves. It seems when deep-seated feelings within us consistently make us feel inadequate they inhibit altruistic thoughts and action toward ourselves and others. Self-deprecation may sound humble but then, doesn't it also seem like fishing for reinforcement?

Not to say that most of us don't have some shaky moments. But it is when we feel consistently unloved or like we don't matter that we withdraw, imagine others don't like us, get testy, vie for attention, criticize, get hurt feelings—how many more descriptions could we add? Hopefully, it is a temporary phase. All too often it isn't.

What if we have a persistent problem with how we feel about ourselves? There is help but it has to come from self-motivated choices. We believe what we want to believe. Nobody can do it for us. One way, to change the pattern is to take stock of what we have going for us—our strengths. but, assessing them accurately can be a weak point for many.

So, in either extreme: thinking too little or thinking too much of self causes one to be very self-aware and thus, self-centered. And there gets to be a lot of energy wasted on the past and less on conscious living in the moment.

There is a lot of help out there to mend the problem. Probably under-rating is easier to fix than a bloated self-important view. That type of person may have to have something happen to de-elevate the ego first.
Thud. And not a pretty sight when they land. (Why do onlookers secretly feel like applauding when they get their come-downance?)

Handwriting analysis offers many clues about how the writer views himself. Small capitals in relation to the middle zone letters, low t bars, which low aspiration, and distorted or small personal pronoun I in a sample are basic indicators of low self-esteem. There are other ways to uncover it as well. When a person has many fears and erects defenses to cope you know it is a way of compensating.

What about if a person goes to the other extreme and becomes conceited? How does that figure in?

There's more on that coming up.

The question was posed to me, "Isn't all this concern with self-image very egocentric? That is, a way of becoming or being totally self-absorbed? We have to think past ourselves and do things for others," so said the person. I certainly agreed with that last thought.

Perhaps, we should also be talking about self-esteem or our feelings of worthiness or call it our "loveability quotient." The thing that came to my mind immediately was the Golden Rule, which originated in the Bible, and there, was not termed a "rule" at all. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," as one translation renders the words from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount.

I hardly think anyone would quibble with the principle of being well-treated no matter what they believe. So why don't many people treat others well? If you have been fortunate in receiving positive treatment in your life, then extending the same to others is a natural thing for you to do. But what if you have not been well-treated and you are left with feelings of inadequate self-worth? How then are you likely to treat others in kind? Can anyone consistently do what they do not know how to do?

Isn't a balanced view of self healthy? In that state one neither thinks too much or too little of oneself. I think of that as being "UN-self-aware." That is, it is the ability to get past the self on a consistent basis. Being "consistent" is the true test. We usually can manage concern for others for a short time. But we then revert to type and our relationships reflect what we feel inside about ourselves. It seems when deep-seated feelings within us consistently make us feel inadequate they inhibit altruistic thoughts and action toward ourselves and others. Self-deprecation may sound humble but then, doesn't it also seem like fishing for reinforcement?

Not to say that most of us don't have some shaky moments. But it is when we feel consistently unloved or like we don't matter that we withdraw, imagine others don't like us, get testy, vie for attention, criticize, get hurt feelings—how many more descriptions could we add? Hopefully, it is a temporary phase. All too often it isn't.

What if we have a persistent problem with how we feel about ourselves? There is help but it has to come from self-motivated choices. We believe what we want to believe. Nobody can do it for us. One way, to change the pattern is to take stock of what we have going for us—our strengths. but, assessing them accurately can be a weak point for many.

So, in either extreme: thinking too little or thinking too much of self causes one to be very self-aware and thus, self-centered. And there gets to be a lot of energy wasted on the past and less on conscious living in the moment.

There is a lot of help out there to mend the problem. Probably under-rating is easier to fix than a bloated self-important view. That type of person may have to have something happen to de-elevate the ego first.
Thud. And not a pretty sight when they land. (Why do onlookers secretly feel like applauding when they get their come-downance?)

Handwriting analysis offers many clues about how the writer views himself. Small capitals in relation to the middle zone letters, low t bars, which low aspiration, and distorted or small personal pronoun I in a sample are basic indicators of low self-esteem. There are other ways to uncover it as well. When a person has many fears and erects defenses to cope you know it is a way of compensating.

What about if a person goes to the other extreme and becomes conceited? How does that figure in?

There's more on that coming up.