The Write Event

The Spirit of Intent

Have you ever been in a situation when you felt manipulated by a series of clever questions? Maybe when you were a prospective buyer. I have been there. I have also been in retail sales and never liked the kind of sales training that taught manipulative closes. Good word for it. It does feel like someone is closing in on you and I think it an uncomfortable place to be. At those times, I have often asked myself, "What's wrong with this picture? I really am interested in this product I am looking at but I am also pulling back. I feel like getting out of here."

It seems to me to come down to the question of the spirit of intent. We always have one and when it slips into being self-serving, as may be the case in a selling situation, it registers badly.

I had this happen at an upscale store not long ago. I was shopping in the cosmetics department, which is one of my favorite stops, (having spent many years in that industry, giving me some stories to share later about self-image.) It is fun to nose around and see what's new. I approached a counter and heard from behind me, "Can I help you?" (That tired question again. I didn't pick up one twit of genuine interest.) The saleswoman had a brush in her hand and was applying blusher on a woman's face. I noticed she had a notepad where she wrote what products she was using as she worked. It looked like a whopper of an order was in the making. "Do you have a question?" she persisted. (I have no idea how she would have juggled two customers at once but I think she had that in mind at that point.) I said that I was looking for a lipstick color to match something. I got the feeling that she did some quick math to compare the sales profit from each of us women and I came out the loser.

I said that I could wait for help, but by then she paid no more attention and I was left to look. Five minutes later another salesperson was then free and began to help me. In the end I found my color and then pulled out my list of 5 other items of that line that I knew I would buy. She headed for the register. There she met the first sales person whose prospect had just jumped down from her stool sporting her new look and had scurried away sans purchase. She tried to say quietly to the second salesperson, "She is my customer who was waiting for me." Not quite quiet enough. The second one would have deferred had I not said, "Please do go ahead—I appreciated your excellent help and I am really your customer."

I suppose there are times when we all have a reason to work things in our favor. But a spirit of intent that rings true makes it easier to speak honestly without a hidden agenda. Those kinds of agendas don't stay hidden for long anyway. Others read the real story and if it doesn't feel right it seeds mistrust. No one reads the truth better than kids, even when they are very young. It amazes me to see them do it. It is a good thing that we can monitor our spirit of intent and correct it as we go. It sure keeps relationships honest, starting with the one we have with ourselves.

The Law of Attraction—You Get What You Expect

This won't be a long dissertation about the Law of Attraction. There are sources galore to read up on it and of course, "The Secret" explains it fully.

Basically, you get back what you expect to get. But, first you have a create a clear vision of what you are seeking. Then, visualizing it with your senses excites your emotions and opens things up for you to be able to attract what you want.

While I have not read much about the role of the Reticular Activating System in attracting things it figures in, of course. The brain wakes up to the possibilities you are seeking as you become aware of what is out there. The term "Universe" is often referred to the source of the good things that become yours. It seems to me to connote space, which opens up a whole new perspective.

The energy you send out comes back in kind. Negative people get back negative stuff; positive people get back the same, even when they face adversities.

I don't believe it is all within our control to attract all good stuff. There are wicked forces in existence that would prohibit that if one takes the scriptures seriously, which I do.

But, we can control our thoughts and dwell on positive and concrete things that are grounded in truth and reliability. Then we can open ourselves up to expansive thinking.

In handwriting, look for openness and balanced loops all areas of the writing. Scrunched, tight, and fully retraced strokes (like closed small e letters) show evidence of restriction of emotions, thinking and reactions, which would make expecting big and new things very hard to do.

Try This Simple Self-test of Your Communication Skills

Have you ever left a conversation feeling that it had been hollow? I had that experience many years ago when I took a young woman I knew to lunch, which ended up to be a very long one. We ate at a small place that allowed for privacy and that is the reason I chose it. My guest was a bit nervous, as though trying to make a good impression. Maybe that is what accounted for the breathless pace of her speech and the nonstop talking. She was not given to asking questions, not before then, then, or later.

We parted in the parking lot and as I drove home I had a surprising feeling of emptiness. Why was I so tired? I had spoken very little. I couldn't put my finger on why until sometime later. Even then it was hard to articulate the feeling.

Much later I read a fiction story that zeroed in on it.

In the story the main character, a woman, had worked at a school for 8 years. She had found help for her retarded child. (Her quest for that was the core of the book.) She came in the office to tell the head man, with whom she had worked closely, of the family decision to go back to their home state. His reaction?

She narrates her story, as follows:

"He cleared his throat and expressed that he was not certain why she was leaving to go back to the South. "Perhaps you're returning to your family…"

"I have no family out there," I cut in. I swallowed and said, I was orphaned at age eleven."

"Okay, he said. "Oh."

And I saw only then how thin this relationship had actually been all these years: he knew nothing of me, only that I had been a teacher once, two or three lives before this one."

_______________________________________________________________________________________

So, here is the test. If you ever walk away from a lengthy conversation knowing nothing more about the other person's life or doings than when you started you will have to own up to having talked more about you than him or her.

What does this have to do with handwriting? Answer: HW speaks so much about how a person communicates—how clearly, how directly, how sincerely and even how much. It is brain-writing after all.

Do You Have any Fences to Mend?

Building Bridges

Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch.

Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

One morning there was a knock on John's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's toolbox. "I'm looking for a few days work," he said.

"Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there. Could I help you?"

"Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That's my neighbor, in fact, it's my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I'll go him one better. See that pile of lumber curing by the barn? I want you to build me a fence - an 8-foot fence - so I won't need to see his place anymore. Cool him down, anyhow."

The carpenter said, "I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you."

The older brother had to go to town for supplies, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.

The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing.

About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer's eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped.

There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge... a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work handrails and all - and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched.

"You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I've said and done."

The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other's hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder. "No, wait! Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you," said the older brother.

"I'd love to stay on," the carpenter said, "but, I have many more bridges to build."

Author Unknown